Book Reaction: “In My Father’s Country: An Afghan Woman Defies Her Fate” by Saima Wahab

Now that this semester’s classroom lesson plan prep work is under control and I now have more free time to catch up on some reading, I’ve decided to peruse the New York Times best-seller book list. I’m a fan of non-fiction and decided on a whim to download this kindle e-book from my local library. (Yeah! For technology! Who knew that despite living in Africa, I can still check-out digital books from my local neighborhood library back in the Midwest.)

It was such a captivating story that I finished this novel in a day.

This book is written by a Afghani (Pashtun) Muslim woman who was born in Afghanistan, but moves to the U.S. West Coast when she was a pre-teen. Later, she becomes a U.S. citizen.

Early in the book (in the 1970s), when she and her two siblings were all under the age of 5, her father mysteriously disappeared by the KGB, never to be seen again. In Afghani patriarchal culture, her mother moved the family to her grandfather’s house where they all lived until she and her siblings immigrated to Oregon as refugees.

While her mother remained in Afghanistan, they were raised by two uncles who maintained a strict household — imparting Afghani traditional roles and double-standards between her brothers and she and her sister. When she completed her university education and began her first job in her early-twenties, she moved out of their house and became estranged from her uncles.

Throughout her life and the book, she is a fiercely independent woman despite her firm understanding of how stark her life would have been if she remained in Afghanistan. She says she would have likely been an illiterate wife with many, many children in a rural village. As that person, she would have hoped that she had a kind husband who didn’t beat her and strictly view her as property. Recognizing how her current life was vastly different that other possible reality, those conflicting emotions both haunt and guide her in her decisions.

It wasn’t until her late 20s that she decides to try a new adventure by becoming a civilian contractor with the U.S. military in Afghanistan. It would be her first time back to the war-torn country since she was a child and she vividly shares her experiences traveling to various villages with the military around the country trying to forge deeper understandings between both cultures.

What hit me about this book was how outstandingly well the author explores cultural nuances and roles between men and women. She shares her interesting anecdotes about cultural conflict and gender identities between her new American lifestyle and her traditional Afghani culture.

For example, due to the high child mortality rate, it’s common that mothers won’t bond or give a name to their child until they reach the age of 7, when the family will know that the child has avoided death from diseases.  If the child does die before that time, it’s easier to grieve if the young person was not individualized.  

In her work, the author really tries to help soldiers (and her readers) understand the multi-dynamic culture. To truly appreciate a culture it not only a firm foundation linguistics, but also have the historical and cultural idiosyncrasies needed to complete the picture.

I learned a lot about Pashtun culture and also new details about American culture. It’s an admirable, interesting story and recommend that you read it, if you the time too.